I had an incredibly rewarding and fulfilling time at FPG Samhain 2007. First of all, I spent time with so many people whom I rarely get to see. There were even a few who hadn't seen me in a long time and had to do a little adjusting to the eclectic developments in my spirituality.
Second, I got to spend a significant amount of time at the fire circle drumming. I don't drum for other people, but rather for myself. I have no illusion that there is any virtuosity in my playing. Instead it is a way to attain an altered state of consciousness. This particular "altered state," unlike that which I used to reach though alcohol, doesn't get me in trouble with the law or result in grossly embarrassing behaviour. As a clear side effect however, my drumming may actually be pleasing to others.
Third, I made significant progress in overcoming the negative self talk that I have internalized from others. Specifically, I actually got up and danced around the fire and even got myself painted:
For me this was quite a departure for the norm, but I felt so free and particularly blessed. I was so thrilled with her work that, when the artist touched it up the next day, I immediately had it photographed (the picture you see here). Furthermore, for the rest of the day and well into the night, or rather the predawn hours, I would not wear a shirt. Indeed, I had to go to the fire circle, because it was particularly cold that night. However, I guess that was exactly where in the universe I was supposed to be, because I met two ladies who had wanted to attend my workshop that morning as well as a lady who had wanted to meet me. And then, after the drumming started and I joined in, I was transported elsewhere.
Fourth, in fire tending for the sweat lodge and in doing my workshops and in facilitating a "Wellbriety-style" talking circle and even in little things I did with other staff, I felt that I was contributing positively to the world in which we live. I also had that most pleasant of feelings for one who seeks to be of service, being appreciated. Too often I feel that I'm doing so much for so many, but nobody cares.
On the other hand, it seems that someone who had a very serious respiratory infection came on the first day that staff started working. Those staff members were exposed and two days later became symptomatic and contagious, at least for those of us who were in close daily contact. Classic epidemiology: "patient zero" exposes the first group Tuesday who then are symptomatic and contagious on Thursday exposing the second group that day who then become symptomatic and contagious on Saturday and so on and so on... We dubbed it the "staff infection."
This means that on Saturday night, when I was protecting my beautiful art by not wearing a shirt, I was coming down with this disease. On Sunday, when I was breaking down my camp as well as helping disassemble the sweat lodge and pack its supplies, I tired easily and was often out of breath at the least exertion. By Wednesday, when I saw my doctor, he said I was on the verge of pneumonia. Even now, two weeks after FPG Samhain, I am still not recovered. At least, when I am not coughing too bad, I have been trying to learn new things about this computer and improve the way things are set up.
On the bright side, I should be over with this stuff in time for Thanksgiving Day with friends and the Full Moon Celebration on Saturday at CUUPS Tampa. In the coming month there will be Yulefest at All World Acres where I will be actively participating in the ritual. I even have a very interesting wedding to officiate. I will enjoy creating a very special service which reflects the culture of both the bride and the groom.
