Journey Through Cancer – Chapter 32 – Impatience and Progress

As I wrote, the weekend before last had brought a distressing development. It had been almost two weeks since I had been troubled by urinary pain, but the pain had returned that weekend. I could not understand why that might be. I really believed that it was unrelated to my prostate cancer and the radiation treatments. That Monday morning, I called the VA “sick call” line for nursing triage and to see about an appointment with my Primary Care doctor. Fortunately, the nurse put in the order for a urinalysis that day and an appointment the nest day. I'm glad the phenazopyridine does provide some relief.
When I saw my Primary Care physician, he set up for a “stat” cystoscopy. The urologist, taking a look around inside me, said that there was no stone, but that she saw the normal changes that one would expect after radiation therapy. She said that the sensation that the pain was in my penis rather than deeper inside me probably is because the source of the pain is actually my prostate gland. She also said that there is no real cause for concern, but that I need to be patient with the course of recovery from my radiation treatments. Thanks to my Primary Care doctor, I have an effective combination of medications to give me relief from this pain even though it is not perfect.
Of course that day was not without its difficulties. When I was sent from Primary Care to Urology, there was a miscommunication with the clerk, resulting in my being sent from place to place. When I found myself being sent to another general practitioner in order to have a referral to the urologist, I lost my patience and informed the clerk and nurse in the ER that I was going back to my Primary Care clinic to get this straightened out. When I finally got to see the urologist for the cystoscopy, I found out that I had been paged on the hospital PA system, but had not heard it.
It often seems that lessons in patience turn out to be occasions of impatience. In other words I think we need to find just what the limits of our patience are before we start to grow in it. While we consider ourselves to be very patient we don't believe we need to improve in this particular area of our spiritual life. However, when we see just how we fall short in this virtue, we are all the more motivated toward growth in it.
While this return of urinary pain represents less than the desired degree of progress in my recovery from the radiation treatments, I have experienced progress in other areas. By the time I got to the end of the course of my therapy, I no longer did anything but take my treatment, sleep, and eat. However, I now can get a few things done although I may need a day or two of recovery if I take on a little too much in any one day. Nevertheless, I have gotten a few long-neglected small projects completed and a few others started.
This week, by contrast, has had two most auspicious and fortuitous events. First, I had my rheumatology appointment to discuss going back on Enbrel for my arthritis and psoriasis. The nurse practitioner reactivated that prescription and instructed me on how to wean myself off of the prednisone. This is welcome news, because the prednisone was inadequate in treating my arthritis and totally ineffective in treating my psoriasis. Furthermore, the bloating and ravenous appetite that it caused interfere with my present efforts to lose weight.
The second auspicious event this week is the discovery of honeybees in a hollow in one of my sister's oak trees. They have set up residence in the remnant of a dead branch. This presents both an opportunity and a challenge. We no longer have to buy our first bees and even already have some of our tools. However, I not only have to assemble our first hive from the kit that we have, but I also have to figure out the best way to capture the bees or rather to persuade them to leave the tree and move into our hive. My strategy must focus on getting not only the worker bees in it, but also to get the queen to move into it too. I'm really looking forward to working with our very own bees.
As I often say, “The only constant in the universe is change.” Here I am in the middle of changes, some that I prefer over others. While I should perhaps maintain equanimity toward all changes, I think rather that I need to apply myself toward those that represent growth and healing. Nevertheless, as I welcome the positive changes with their growth and recovery, I still must not be discouraged by setbacks and obstacles and challenges. Indeed, these are often the very essentials for spiritual growth.