Recent events have stirred in me the recognition of the futility of samsaric pursuits and the excellence of the Dharma. I am moved to seek the path to ultimate happiness through the Buddha's teachings, first by "taking refuge (in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha)," the act by which I declare myself a Buddhist. Furthermore, I shall explore the possibility of becoming a Tibetan Buddhist monk. I find a great affinity for their way of practice.
This would not be the first lifetime during which I had done this. I have memories of being an Indian man who entered a Tibetan Buddhist monastery. Actually, I shall probably have an easier time than I had then. First, I have had experience of the monastic life as a Russian Orthodox monk. Second, I shall not have to leave my own country to follow this path. In fact, I may not even have to leave my own part of this country since we have a local Dharma center nearby and monastics in the Tibetan tradition in a nearby county. We even have monks of a different tradition right here in Plant City.
I approach this in a much healthier fashion than I did my entry into Christian monasticism. I now seek to follow the path to true happiness and Enlightenment for the benefit of myself and all sentient beings.
I understand the truth of Lama Zopa Rinpohe's words, "Generally speaking, common people in the world at large follow attachment. To them, a good life is one where success is measured by external development—the accumulation of more, more, more: wealth, possessions, cars, friends, family, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and so forth—external, visible signs of prosperity. According to attachment, this is the best kind of life to lead. But what's behind this quest?
"Actually, what everybody wants is peace, happiness, and satisfaction in their hearts and minds. That's what everybody is looking for. The trouble is, most people don't know how to find it. The only method they have for finding fulfillment is external development. That's all they know because they lack a Dharma education. So, even though they want peace of mind and satisfaction, they have no method other than the external one. No matter what they do, they always finish up, as the Rolling Stones so aptly put it: 'I can't get no satisfaction.'"
For several years now, I have sought to leave behind my celibacy, having renounced my previous monastic vows both privately and personally and publicly and formally. I have sought the opportunity to have sex, but such an opportunity has eluded me. Furthermore, the development of prostate problems including a "lump" in the prostate is likely to remove the possibility of sex, because of the likely side effects of the current forms of treatment. Finally, at my age I shouldn't be wasting the little time I have left in this lifetime pursuing transient samsaric pleasures at the expense of more important efforts toward something more lasting for the benefit of myself and all sentient beings.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Dharma lessons
Life sometimes delivers dharma lessons in strange and unexpected ways.
Recently a lady contacted me having found my business card (as clergy) in a local coffee shop and then finding my MySpace and reading all my blog posts and such. We corresponded for a while on the Internet and then actually met twice. We seemed th connect right away, the kind of relationship that seems to continue something from a past life. After that we seemed only able to communicate by IM, phone, and text messages.
Her son was sick and then she was sick, but she seemed not to be able to understand or accept that I stood ready to help in any way that I could. I offered to bring over videos to lighten things up to reduce her stress, but she wouldn't have any of it. Then it seemed that everything took a serious wrong turn.
However, the last time I got to our local dharma center, we were learning about the "Four Ways of Turning the Mind." The second begins "The nature of all phenomena is impermanence...." The fourth says, "In the three lower realms and even in the three higher ones there is not an instant of absolute happiness. I will avoid the root cause of my samsaric existence and practice the excellent path of peace to Enlightenment."
This lady has taught me the truth of both of these by painful experience. Furthermore, although I diligently strove to avoid any expectations, it was hard not to entertain thoughts of this beginning friendship developing into something deeper and more fulfilling. Hence I had to suffer the pain that comes from attachment.
The lessons may be valuable and ultimately leading toward Enlightenment, but I don't haver to enjoy them.
Recently a lady contacted me having found my business card (as clergy) in a local coffee shop and then finding my MySpace and reading all my blog posts and such. We corresponded for a while on the Internet and then actually met twice. We seemed th connect right away, the kind of relationship that seems to continue something from a past life. After that we seemed only able to communicate by IM, phone, and text messages.
Her son was sick and then she was sick, but she seemed not to be able to understand or accept that I stood ready to help in any way that I could. I offered to bring over videos to lighten things up to reduce her stress, but she wouldn't have any of it. Then it seemed that everything took a serious wrong turn.
However, the last time I got to our local dharma center, we were learning about the "Four Ways of Turning the Mind." The second begins "The nature of all phenomena is impermanence...." The fourth says, "In the three lower realms and even in the three higher ones there is not an instant of absolute happiness. I will avoid the root cause of my samsaric existence and practice the excellent path of peace to Enlightenment."
This lady has taught me the truth of both of these by painful experience. Furthermore, although I diligently strove to avoid any expectations, it was hard not to entertain thoughts of this beginning friendship developing into something deeper and more fulfilling. Hence I had to suffer the pain that comes from attachment.
The lessons may be valuable and ultimately leading toward Enlightenment, but I don't haver to enjoy them.
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