When we think of life changing events, we usually think of dramatic things such as marriages, divorces, car wrecks, diseases like cancer, deaths of loved ones, or even taking monastic vows. I have had all of those which were indeed life changing. However, perhaps the most life changing event of my life up to now was much quieter but no less profound.
Barely more than two months after being ordained as a “getsul,” a novice Tibetan Buddhist monk, in the Drikung Kagyu lineage, I went to our Boston center to help with the preparations for teachings and empowerments by His Holiness Chetsang Rinpoche, one of the two throne holders of our lineage. In other words he is one of the two top monks in our order in the whole world.
I very much enjoyed the peace of meditation and sadhana practice with the Jowo Rinpoche statue alone. The center was actually very quiet during my first days there, but it was not long before the preparations began in earnest. From that point until the day that His Holiness arrived, each day saw a higher level of activity together with more stress which sadly took its toll on some of the members there. Fortunately, the positive energies of this mahasiddha soon reached us as we became part of the mandala of a bodhisattva's action in the world. Solutions to problems seemed to present themselves with amazing ease. Peace and cooperation became dominant.
When the day of His Holiness' arrival at the center finally came, the welcoming ceremony, which had been planned, now had to be finalized. Persons were chosen for each part of the ceremony. The Khenpo who was arranging these things said that a monk should hold the ceremonial yellow parasol. Since he and I were the only monks present at the time, the honor fell to me, not due to any worthiness on my part but simply by virtue of my ordination alone. However, to put into perspective how great an honor I felt I had been granted, my Lama had been chosen to perform this same function at another location. Furthermore, I could not entertain any illusion that I deserved such an honor when my Lama was still having to correct me on the wearing of my robes.
When His Holiness finally arrived and the ceremony began, I was elated first by his smile as he got out of the car and then by my role in this beautiful ceremony which sought to express how we felt about the very great privilege of his visit. Even now, weeks afterward, the elation has not fully subsided, in part due to the continued opportunities to receive teachings and empowerments from him as well as to just be in his presence. Many Tibetan families in the Boston area invited him to their homes both for the great blessing that such a visit represented and also as the occasion of giving him the offering of their hospitality. Although I was the last and least of all the Drikung monastics, I was privileged to be included in these lunch and dinner invitations. Therefore, I was able to glimpse his interactions with so many different people and to witness his great compassion and loving kindness as well as his perfect equanimity. Furthermore, both he and my Lama were training me as a monk.
At all these homes people were putting before us what they regarded as their best. I was responsible to receive it with gratitude and grace, for their benefit, whether I deserved it or not, whether I liked it or not. Even as the last and least of all the Drikung monks, in this situation I represented all my brother monks especially those more worthy than I. Perhaps the most important lesson from my cancer was that I do not do good things for my benefit alone, but rather for the benefit of all sentient beings. That lesson was continued in the circumstances of my ordination and now in yet another situation.
It soon became apparent to me that Rinpoche's delight in our efforts, our deference and our gifts came not from receiving them for himself but rather from knowing the great spiritual benefit that they are to us. It was one more way that he was taking care of us. Since taking the throne of our lineage, he has worked tirelessly to preserve the great spiritual treasures of its teachings and empowerments as well as rebuilding the monastic and educational life to continue them far into the future. Furthermore, he does not just leave it to others to share these spiritual treasures with everyone. He has traveled so extensively throughout the world and especially in the West to bring this great wealth to a culture which suffers from such a great spiritual poverty. Perhaps his having lived under Chinese Communism and its Cultural Revolution, gives him a particular perspective on the ultimate development of modernity without anything spiritual which in turn shows how deeply we in the West need the Dharma.
As the last and least of all the Drikung monks, it was entirely appropriate that my interview with Rinpoche should be among the last. Furthermore, since I really did not have any questions, it was also fitting that it would be brief. I was able to introduce myself as both an old man and a new monk in our lineage. When he asked whether I was from Boston, I was able to tell him that although I was from Florida, I wanted to spend more time in Boston in the summers to be close to my Lama. He agreed that it would be a good thing for me to do just that.
When he left by car to go to Vermont, I grieved to see him leave, but I also had the opportunity to again see his love for all sentient beings when I saw how he delighted to see the dog of one of the people from the local community. Furthermore, I could look forward to returning to Florida to prepare for his teachings in my home area. I was able to arrive back early enough for the last of the scheduled work days although I was to discover that the work had already been done. Nevertheless, I was not denied the merit of helping in these preparations, because I was given some flowers to repot and I could share my experience from His Holiness' visit to Boston.
I was most fortunate to be able to greet Rinpoche as he arrived at the airport in Tampa and then to attend all the teachings and empowerments. In fact, it was a very great blessing to receive the Five-fold Mahamudra Torma empowerment a second time so soon after the first I received from His Holiness. This is but one more way that my entire time with His Holiness, whether receiving teachings and empowerments or sharing meals or just being in his presence, has been so life changing.
I deeply regret that my age and health kept me from attending the Blessing of the Gulf of Mexico and all beings affected by the recent oil spill which His Holiness did this morning. I have felt so troubled not only by the great loss of life but also by the lack of any uproar over it. At least the local Tibetan Buddhist community could ask for this and His Holiness fulfilled the request out of their compassion for all beings.
Sometimes I forget that the profound awareness of my own mortality that had so much to do with my aspiration to be ordained came from the living experience of surviving stuff for all of my life. From the aortic defect with which I was born through the car wreck that nearly killed me in more than one way to the prostate cancer from whose treatment I just finished recovering, just to mention the big stuff, I have in fact survived to not only find the Dharma but also to commit myself totally to it for the benefit of all sentient beings. The little residual effects of some of these life threatening events are necessary to help me remember.
I am most fortunate to have had the karmic seeds of my past bear fruit in the way they did. Not only has a lot of negative karma been cleansed, but in these circumstances of my life a treasury of experience has been built up to use in the service of others. Furthermore, they helped motivate my monastic aspiration both in order that I not continue to plant that kind of karmic seeds and in order that everything that I am and everything that I have may be committed to the service of the ultimate enlightenment of all sentient beings.
Finally, I have been so fortunate as to meet and recognize two mahasiddhas. How many other people never meet even one or at least never recognize one when they meet him or her? His Eminence Garchen Rinpoche and His Holiness Chetsang Rinpoche are now lasting parts of my life both by the effects they have already had on my life and by the ways that they shall influence and shape my life in the future. Thanks to something mentioned by another Western monastic, I now have the aspiration to be in Dehra Dun, India, or wherever His Holiness is in November 2011. I have no idea how that may be possible, but I must remember that my own ordination happened when it was not expected. Furthermore, if it comes to pass, it shall not be for my benefit alone but for the benefit of all sentient beings.
No comments:
Post a Comment