Tuesday night's meditation class here at the Drikung Meditation Center was led by Venerable Konchok Gedun, resident monk of Katsel Dharma Center in Florida. For one so young he gave profound teachings, although perhaps not as profound as a lama or geshe might. One of his favorite prayers to include in the closing prayers at the end of a practice is called, “Using Wisdom and Courage.” As we read the words, as I often do, I saw their applicability to my own life as it has unfolded, but the connections were somewhat clearer, probably thanks to the influence of Jowo Rinpoche. These were my thoughts regarding each verse:
“I rely on you, buddhas and bodhisattvas, until I achieve enlightenment. Please grant me enough wisdom and courage to be free from delusion.” Since I do not have an overabundance of wisdom and courage, indeed sometimes little of either, I need all the help I can get. With regard to delusions, how different am I than the most delusional psychotic? I just share the delusions of a larger group of other people!
“If I am supposed to get sick, let me get sick, and I’ll be happy. May this sickness purify my negative karma and the sickness of all sentient beings.” The cancer with which I have been dealing these many months is just the result of karmic seeds planted in a previous lifetime. It is just pure cause and effect. Nevertheless, it purifies that karma and can even purify other negative karma especially if I can make it benefit others. I can do just that not only by dedicating it to others just as we do with meritorious actions but also by sharing the journey in ways such as this blog.
“If I am supposed to be healed, let all my sickness and confusion be healed, and I’ll be happy. May all sentient beings be healed and filled with happiness.” The very healing that I now believe has been accomplished is not just about physical illness, but also about spiritual illness as well. Every bit of Dharma practice whether in prayers, chants, and sadhanas or in conducting myself differently especially in striving to be of service to others, all of this treats the spiritual illness. Furthermore, all of this I share with all sentient beings.
“If I am supposed to die, let me die and I’ll be happy. May all the delusion and the causes of suffering of beings die.” Death is inevitable, but it need not be meaningless. At the very least my death, when it comes, will be one more example of just that very inevitability as well as the impermanence of everything. Perhaps that will help someone find their way to the path or stay on it
“If I am supposed to live a long life, let me live a long life and I’ll be happy. May my life be meaningful in service to sentient beings.” I really have no clue how long or short the remainder of my life may be, but its true meaning and value comes from being in service to others. There is no greater source of true happiness and joy. I am reminded that “without compassion there is no enlightenment.” However, with compassion there can be enlightenment for all sentient beings.
“If my life is to be cut short, let it be cut short and I’ll be happy. May I and all others be free from attachment and aversion.” The inherent brevity of life makes attachment and aversion useless, since, whether because of change or because of death, we will with absolute certainty be separated from everything to which we are attached or from which we are averse. Perhaps, if my life is short someone else may see just how useless both attachment and aversion are.
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