As I have written before, I aspire to become a monk as soon as that may be arranged. I had the opportunity to discuss this with my root lama who agreed that it should happen and even suggested that it might be most auspicious for my ordination to be right in front of the Jowo Rinpoche. Nevertheless, where and when this may be arranged is outside my control. Such an ordination requires at least five monks, one of whom must be a khenchen or khenpo and one of whom should be a lama, ideally my root lama. The other three monks should be fully ordained. Furthermore, there are others who are also awaiting the opportunity for their ordinations. All these preparations are the work of others.
However, there are preparations that are specifically mine to make. First are the psychological and spiritual preparations. These involve studying the 36 samayas of the novice monk and even acquainting myself with the samayas of the fully ordained monk which I seek to eventually become.
With regard to the Thirty-six Precepts I have the following personal understanding (not truly commentary, not being really qualified for such a thing):
“One should avoid:
1 taking a human life;
killing an animal or insect;
for selfish reasons, doing an action which may kill an animal or insect and not caring about it; for example, using water that contains insects without straining it; digging a hole in the earth without considering the creatures that might die as a result; cutting grass; overburdening an animal, which causes its death;
while doing something for others, doing an action which may kill an animal or insect and not caring about it; for example, splashing water which has insects on a dry place;”
The reverence that I should have for every sentient being is so great that I would grieve over the loss of even one of them. Right now I am practicing this in seeking to preserve every one of the bees in my sister's oak tree. The traditional equipment for a Theravadan monk included a filter to avoid the accidental death of even a small insect in drinking water.
“One should avoid:
sexual intercourse;”
Of course this is self-explanatory. I once followed the celibate calling for the wrong reason, but now will enter upon it as part of the right path of Tibetan Buddhist monasticism.
“One should avoid:
stealing, taking what has not been given. This includes borrowing things and not returning them, not paying fees and taxes one is required to;”
The monk in no way takes anything directly or indirectly which belongs to another. This includes paying what is truly and legally owed.
“One should avoid:
7. lying in which one claims to have spiritual realizations or powers that one does not have;
8. accusing a pure bhikshu or bhikshuni of transgressing one of the four root precepts (parajika) when he or she has not;
9. insinuating that a pure bhikshu or bhikshuni has transgressed one of the four root precepts when he or she has not;
10. causing disunity among the sangha community through untrue slander or taking sides in a disagreement;
11. supporting someone who is creating disunity in the sangha community, taking sides in the dispute;
12. doing actions which obliterate lay people's faith in the sangha; for example complaining untruthfully to lay people that action brought by the sangha against oneself was unfair;
13. telling others lies;
14. criticizing the storekeeper in the monastery of giving more to those who are near to him or her instead of sharing them with all, when this is not the case;
15. criticizing directly or by insinuation that the storekeeper in the monastery of not giving oneself a share of the food or other things equal to that given to other monastics, when this is not the case;
16. claiming that a monastic gave a teaching in return for a little food, which is not the case;
17. criticizing a bhikshu or bhikshuni by saying that he or she transgressed a precept in the second group (sanghavasesa) when this is not the case;
18. abandoning the training, for example, rejecting the good advice of a nun or monk; criticizing the Pratimoksha Sutra;
covering the vegetables with rice; covering the rice with vegetables;”
This is all about lies and other forms of deception. As a monk I must strive to be scrupulously honest in matters both large and small.
“One should avoid:
taking intoxicants;”
This includes all forms of drugs and alcoholic beverages, because they can alter one's judgment and result in an unwise choice which might lead to a nonvirtue. Furthermore, as I see it, fundamental to Buddhism is full control of one's mind and I would give that up through the use of any intoxicant.
“One should avoid:
21. singing with self-attachment or for nonsensical reasons;
22. dancing with self-attachment or for nonsensical reasons;
playing music with self-attachment or for nonsensical reasons;”
This, I believe, is about pursuing diversions that would keep me from my practice and fill my time with worthless activities and prevent my seeing the true circumstances of samasaric existence.
“One should avoid:
24. wearing ornaments;
25. wearing cosmetics;
26. wearing perfumes;
wearing the rosary like jewelry, wearing flower garlands;”
As a monk my clothing is prescribed, removing any concern about how I might appear. No time, thought, or energy need be expended to choose what to wear or how to wear it. However, any of these four things just represent returning to the same old ways.
“One should avoid:
28. sitting on an expensive throne;
29. sitting on an expensive bed;
30. sitting on a high throne;
sitting on a high bed;”
This is all about not seeking honors for oneself. In becoming a monk, I am turning my back on any kind of honor or position. My clothing and haircut serve to remove distinctions and difference, making me just one more monk and not something special at all.
“One should avoid:
eating after midday (Exceptions: if one is ill, if one is traveling, or if one cannot meditate properly without food.);”
This is really about having a new relationship with food. While it derives from the practice of “alms rounds,” it also relates for taking food only as a necessity. In the food offering prayer we say,”By seeing the food as medicine, I will partake of it without attachment or aversion. It shall not serve to increase my pride, arrogance or strength, but will only maintain my body.”
“One should avoid:
touching gold, silver or precious jewels (includes money);”
Of course this is an old problem for mankind against which the monk must guard himself. Hence the common practice of having a veyyavaccakara or steward for one's funds. In my case, I believe that my sister may perform that function well and accumulate merit thereby.”
“One should avoid:
34. wearing lay people's clothing and ornaments; letting one's hair grow long;
35. not wearing the robes of a Buddhist monastic;
disrespecting or not following the guidance of one's ordination master. (Precepts 34-36 are called the three degenerating actions.)”
These are ways that I might toy with not being a monk, but they are truly a trap no less than the spider's web is to the fly.
Additionally, I need to work on stabilizing my daily practice, because it is this which will sustain me in my monastic life and is actually the chief purpose of becoming a monk. Furthermore, out of my daily practice flows my service to the Dharma which is the reason that I feel that being a monk is the best use of the remainder of my life. Such preparations are primarily solitary and can only be done by me with some limited help from my vajra brothers and sisters and the direction of my root lama.
However, there are practical preparations that require a certain amount of assistance from others. In order to travel to wherever the ordination is to be and ideally to also have my sister be able to attend I'll need to raise transportation funds. In addition, I need to have my basic set of monastic robes and an alms bowl. While I may be able to sew some of the robes, some may require more skill than I yet possess. Those I would have to purchase. It is usual among Theravadans for the family of a young man to provide this first set of robes, but for a householder who later becomes a monk to provide these for himself. After that, the replacement of the robes is regulated by the vinaya and no longer up to the individual monk because he no longer possesses funds for this. The situation is somewhat modified in the West because, to our great dishonor, we have no tradition of supporting monastics.
I shall resume the “liquidation of my own estate” to start raising these funds, but I doubt that such an effort will be sufficient to meet the need. It is always difficult to ask for help, but I have been advised that such independence is just the American self-reliance and not a Buddhist virtue. Furthermore, I have also been reminded that just as I have walked through this “Journey Through Cancer” this far not for my benefit alone but for the benefit of all sentient beings, any merit that there is in my ordination and monastic life is also to be shared by allowing others to sponsor me. Toward that end, those who may seek to sponsor me may make a deposit into my PayPal account with the email address of john.missing@verizon.net which is the same one into which my eBay sales go.
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