Journey Through Cancer – Chapter 51 – Unexpected Consequences to Preparing for Ordination

Yesterday, I had the surprise of a traffic stop by a police officer in Lakeland, Florida, for an expired registration. It had been due on the van back in January, right in the middle of my radiation therapy. I think I gave the paperwork to my sister at the time, because, at that point I wasn't handling more than sleeping, eating, and getting to my radiation therapy sessions. However, she was not exactly functioning at her best either. Quite obviously we didn't renew the registration at that time.

As soon as I could get to the tag agency, I renewed the registration at a cost of $101. That together with the fine for the ticket of about $99, has effectively wiped out my deposit to my PayPal account. This might be really discouraging except that I sold the first of my eBay items yesterday also.

I still have the distinct expectation that I shall still be able to raise the necessary funds, not only for my robes and travel, but also to be able to have my sister travel to Boston as well. My costs have been reduced by the items that I was given as well as those that I shall be able make myself. This should keep my needs minimal. Furthermore, the friend who bought the first item specifically intends to be helping me with this. I have every reason to believe that there are others either out of friendship or because they see value in what I'm doing who will also help me get to Boston for my ordination.

I don't see that I have any choice but to continue with both my preparations and my fundraising. I have survived my cancer. I have found the most worthwhile use of the rest of my life. I still have plenty of pattern making and sewing to do. I have more sorting through things to find more stuff that I should either “liquidate” or give away.

I cannot afford to be attached even to my plans and expectations. Nevertheless, I believe that I will make the trip and be ordained, because it is the right thing. What higher purpose can the rest of my life have than to serve the Dharma? The application of Dharma in everyday life was the key to managing to make this “Journey through Cancer” so well! Furthermore, I have to remember that sponsorship at such times is a way that the lay people participate in any merit that there is in an ordination. Perhaps they can't become monks or nuns themselves, but they can help monks and nuns meet their needs. Could this just be part of the reason that the Vinaya provides for monks and nuns to receive their support from others? Once again I must remember that it is not just about my own benefit, but rather about how I may be of benefit to all sentient beings.