The arrangements for my ordination to happen in Boston in September have not come together. Instead, I shall be waiting and hoping to be part of the next group to be ordained, probably at Tibetan Meditation Center in Maryland, perhaps at the next Spring Retreat. However, all this, like the other arrangements is in the hands of others. Meanwhile, I still have my preparations to continue: raising funds (both by continuing to “liquidate my own estate” and save money), sewing robes, and buying robes that I can't sew.
More significant for me are the spiritual and educational preparations that I need to make before my aspiration of ordination is fulfilled. First, I have been studying the Tibetan calendar with regard to auspicious dates for practices and other activities. The first result of this is that I have made my own interim “practice calendar” to use until I can get a more “official” one. In this way, my daily practices may be more in keeping with the wealth of our tradition and less a matter of my own whims.
In addition to this, my first course from Dharmakirti College starts next month, the first of many that I shall be taking. I plan to go through the entire curriculum that is available online. Furthermore, I shall start studying the Tibetan language on a more systematic basis. That will begin with the materials available online free to download. I hope to be able to follow that with a more extensive course although it may still need to be self-taught, because I doubt that I can go anywhere that offers the necessary curriculum.
I was advised by someone not to let my aspirations be widely known. However, that would be difficult at this point since I've been blogging everything for months, but my blogs have been approved by my root lama. I don't know that the present vein of my posts still meets with his approval, but I haven't been told to stop and too much was already covered in the blogs under the title of “Journey Through Cancer” which I know was approved.
The advice about secrecy was in order to avoid obstacles to the aspiration arising. However, that kind of opposition would suggest some sort of supernatural interference. For that kind of thing I have to trust in the protectors to whom we Drikungpa turn already such as Achi Chokyi Drolma. I have the evidence of the centuries that she has guarded us and the more recent small but not insignificant assistance that she has given me. We do get help from these kind of sources just like I received.
In fact, I just got help that I have to attribute to the aid of Yellow Dzambala. An item that I listed on eBay sold for the “Buy Now” price within 31 minutes of being listed. I have intermittently done water offerings in addition to doing a set of daily offerings also to Yellow Dzambala. I might look at it as a quid pro quo, but I believe it is more a matter of orienting myself and my intentions more compassionately. The essence of these practices are truly about serving others and generating generosity toward others.
I was recently told that Shakyamuni Buddha attained enlightenment solely through meditation. However, I don't think that is entirely correct, because he studied meditation from great meditators who taught him, but they had not attained enlightenment themselves. Perhaps one of the differences between his teachers and Lord Buddha is that he was not just seeking to free himself from suffering but to find the path for all of us. In other words, he practiced not only the most advanced meditation, but also the most profound compassion. Remember that we have been taught that without compassion there can be no enlightenment.
Over and over in our practices we are reminded that we are seeking Buddhahood not for ourselves alone, but for the benefit of all sentient beings. We are reminded of this so many times because we need all of the reminders or else we slip back into the selfishness to which we are so inclined by habit. If we are to maintain the kind of lovingkindness and compassion and bodhicitta that we need, we require constant reminders and repeated practice. Just as an athlete needs rigorous practice to excel at a sport, we practitioners need all the aspects of our training to attain our goal. We need our deity practices as well as our meditation and we need to cultivate compassion and bodhicitta.
I have often wondered how much prayer changes things and how much it changes us. I sometimes think that it is more important that it changes us!
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