I have done well with my sales of stuff on eBay to raise the cost of my robes and travel to my ordination. I had reason to hope that my sister would also be able to make the trip to Boston. However, the van seemed to be running a little hot on Saturday. On Sunday when I checked things over, I found where water was leaking around a hose. Unfortunately, I could not reach the opposite end of the hose to be able to change it myself.
Today I took the van to the garage where we usually have our vehicles repaired when I can't do the work myself, more and more often as my arthritis has progressed. It turned out to not be the hose but rather the fitting to which it attaches, an outcome that was not unexpected when I saw how the water streamed out between the hose and the fitting. Although the shop is quite reasonable in their charges, the part can only be ordered from Ford rather than a regular parts house. Therefore the expense of this small repair (and the radiator flush and fill that may protect another cooling system part from rusting out) will be significant.
Essentially, it will wipe out my PayPal account, leaving me to start over raising funds for my robes and travel. Fortunately, I have eliminated or reduced some of my monthly expenses, allowing me to contribute more from my next two pension checks. However, I still have not repaired my pickup truck yet. In fact, I am still not sure whether the filter and spark plug replacements will do the job. Nevertheless, that is the only level of work I can do on it, but it is in keeping with the very basic troubleshooting rule that an engine needs air, fuel and spark to run. However, even in this I must remember that I cannot be attached to a particular outcome, but rather must accept whatever happens and work with it rather than senselessly fight against it.
My sister now doubts that she will be able to attend my ordination. I admonish her not to project a certain outcome, but rather accept whichever one occurs. The important thing is that I live according to the Dharma and serve the Dharma not just for the benefit of myself but for the benefit of all sentient beings.
Reflecting on the large number of people who are in financial distress at this time, now sensitized to their suffering by this small setback, perhaps I should add a brief daily Dzambala water offering to my daily offering routine each morning. Although I don't have the fine ritual objects like a bumpa or a complete water offering set, it is more important that I have the altruistic motivation to help everyone and generate bodhicitta. The right disposition of mind is more important than the specific ritual items used.
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