Monday I had another appointment with the oncologist which I had expected to show continued progress. However, whereas my previous PSA test value had been 1.1, this one was 2.6, more than double, and heading in the wrong direction. Needless to say, I was disappointed, but I understand that a single lab result does not make a trend. Too many other things could cause an elevated PSA result for us to conclude that the cancer is back. We just have to monitor this, but we cannot take it for granted, because it is not a good change.
Nevertheless, I plan to resume my program of alternative treatments in the meantime. I shall again make my “medicinal noodles” with the Reishi broth and Shitake mushrooms and broccoli. I will again be drinking green tea with lemongrass. I shall also commence the Tibetan inner yoga practice that I just learned at Spring Retreat, “ the one cure for a hundred illnesses.” I had previously used a form of visualization with a meditation for mobilizing the “healer within.” This will definitely be more advanced and hopefully more powerful and effective.
As things had been progressing, it had seemed reasonable that this appointment would have continued the same trend of steadily improving lab results. My “Journey Through Cancer” was wrapping up both in life and in this blog. I had even taken ordination as a Tibetan Buddhist monk which would have helped shape the final blog entries as well as the conclusion of any book derived from this blog. However, life usually doesn't follow such neat patterns and hasn't in this case. Nevertheless, I find it not coincidental that I just learned this inner yoga practice at Spring Retreat and did so after my ordination.
Throughout this “Journey Through Cancer” my Buddhist faith has provided me with the tools to cope with the difficulties that it presented. Indeed, I have been able to find means to turn the negatives into positives, to make the purification of my karma the occasion of gaining merit through its benefit to others. It may now have provided a tool for dealing with a health problem at such an early stage that other means may not be required. Nevertheless, I shall continue to use all the tools that I am provided as I continue the journey a little farther.
Among the tools that I now have are the ten precepts of the novice monk or getsul/sramanera. According to these precepts I am to avoid:
“ 1. killing (To break from the root, one must kill a human being with intention);
2. taking what is not given (stealing) (To break from the root, one must steal something that could bring about legal intervention in one's society);
3. sexual intercourse (To break from the root, one must have intention and experience orgasm. This refers to heterosexual or homosexual contact.);
4. lying (To break from the root, one must lie about one's spiritual attainments);
5. taking intoxicants (This includes alcohol and recreational drugs);
6. singing, dancing, playing music;
7. wearing perfume, ornaments or cosmetics to beautify the body;
8. sitting on a high or expensive bed or throne;
9. eating after midday;
touching gold, silver or precious objects (including money). ”
Unfortunately, I had to start out bending the last two from the very beginning, because of diabetes and because of the bus trip. Nevertheless, I cannot afford to be casual about such “bending” of either of them. Any eating after midday must be regarded as something done out of medical necessity and not something from which to derive pleasure. Likewise, I must minimize my handling of money without ever losing sight of the fact that any handling of it still is contrary to the precept no matter how unavoidable the situation may be at the time.
When I stated that it was unlikely that I would ever be a Lama, it was pointed out to me by someone who is worthy to be heeded that just by keeping my vows I would be teaching others. I may never keep all the vows perfectly all the time, but as long as I never break them and purify and restore any that are “bent” I shall be progressing on this path. One day I will be able to take full monastic ordination as a bhikksu or gelong with all the couple of hundred precepts. My commitment is such that if I were offered such ordination tomorrow, I would do it without reservation just as I had no reservations when I took this ordination so few days ago.
As my name continues to be a reminder, our goal is enlightenment, not for ourselves alone but for all sentient beings. A tiny bit of Dharma has brought me this far in my “Journey Through Cancer.” Truly learning and living the Dharma can carry each of us so much farther!
No comments:
Post a Comment