Journey Through Cancer – Chapter 41 – Our Teachers

Friday before last, our Center held a memorial for a Dharma sister who was much beloved and influential in many people's lives, including mine. Although I was fortunate enough to know her, it was not for a very long time.
As I described in “Chapter 10 – The Spiritual Preparations,” I was fortunate to spend time in a retreat and with my root lama just before starting radiation therapy. It was around this same time that I met our beloved Carmen. At this critical time in my life she said some of the most important and influential things to guide me through this journey. She talked about living the Dharma in our daily affairs. Of course, this was just before I really needed to do just that. Therefore, although I had not intended to say anything at the memorial only wishing to be there to honor her, I had to briefly say that she had done so much for me with her words at such an important time.
It is easy to see that Lama Konchok Sonam and Khenpo Tsultrim are my teachers. However, Carmen is no less one of my teachers as well, just as are the newly ordained Venerable Konchok Gedun and all my other vajra brothers and sisters. Properly valuing my teachers is quite important right now, because I am about to make a trip to Boston to attend teachings and empowerments from both Lama Gursam and H.E. Garchen Rinpoche. Not only that, but I will be able to participate in the daily life at the Tibetan Meditation Center there and get personal guidance from my root lama.
Last night, for the first time this season, I was able to attend a “Sobriety Sweat” sweat lodge led by my friend Jimmy. One of the profound realizations that came from this particular lodge is that the colony of bees that I am trying to get into a hive are thousands of small teachers for me. While I had thought that I was working to save the lives of other sentient beings, I had no idea of the great service that they were doing for me. Nevertheless, it should not be such a surprise, because, as a Native American descendant, I have understood “totem animals” as spiritual guides and teachers and messengers. Honeybees are just a little smaller than most of these.
Furthermore, I can now see that my current monastic “calling” is not merely the repetition of old patterns but rather a more mature following of my karmic path. Likewise, it is most fortunate that I have this opportunity. As I contemplate my next birthday being my 60th, three things are clear: 1) no opportunity to learn can be neglected, 2) every teacher must be treasured and 3) at my age, I have no time to waste. Therefore, monastic ordination both removes the obstacles that ordinary life presents to the path to enlightenment and also offers me the opportunity to serve the Dharma at the very least as a helper for our great teachers.
For this reason, one of the most important things that I may accomplish during my stay in Boston just might be planning for my ordination, when, where, and how. I would love to be able to return from there as a novice monk, a getsul. While that may be more than I can expect, I can truly hope that I shall have been able to plan for it and commit myself to it.
At any rate, in the short term, I look forward to seeing my vajra brother Venerable Konchok Gedun to personally congratulate him on his ordination. However, in the intermediate term, I look forward both to receiving teachings from the great teachers who will be in Boston and to serving these same teachers. Finally, in the long term, I look forward to my own ordination and the commitment to the Dharma our teachers who serve it that ordination entails.