Journey Through Cancer Chapter 35 – Recovery, Surprises and the Dharma

Week before last I was pleasantly surprised by my Primary Care Physician checking my PSA and telling me that it was now 3.1, within the normal range. Last week the order for another test was entered by the Oncologist and the Nurse Practitioner from Rheumatology gave me the preview of the result at 1.5, quite a surprise. In addition, my strength is growing.
Saturday, my sister and I co-officiated the handfasting of some very good friends. It was the most beautiful occasion, a small gathering and a ceremony mostly written by the couple themselves. It was a really emotional event for everyone involved. Once I'm ordained, I guess I won't be doing any more of these, but that's how it should be. I talked to a couple of my friends about my intention to be ordained a Tibetan Buddhist monk. We particularly discussed the difference between this and my previous entry into the Russian Orthodox monastery. Then I was running away from a pain of my disastrous marriage. This time I am making a positive step for the benefit of myself and others.
Sunday afternoon, I got back to the Dharma Center after I haven't been able to be there on a consistent basis. I found out that our president will be taking his monastic ordination this month and am most pleased for him. It is clearly the fulfillment of his highest aspirations. He gave an outstanding Dharma talk that helped me understand some very important things. As a result of what he said I realized that the chief aim of structure and rules of Tibetan Buddhist monasticism is focus. All the things that we leave behind like family life and career are set aside to clear the way to keep our focus on the primary goal of the path to enlightenment.
Now that I've decided on becoming a monk, I am eager to begin, but I have to realize that I may not yet be ready for it. When I look at my friend, I see that he has been preparing for this for a long time. I haven't been officially Buddhist for a whole year yet. Furthermore, when I asked Lama Sonam to be my Root Lama, I established a relationship that he would guide me in my spiritual development before I take ordination. I still haven't fulfilled my first commitment to visit the Center in Boston to make a sort of a retreat. I'm making my plans for the trip in June. I may need to get a little help to actually make the trip, because it looks like it could be too expensive for my limited means.
At the very least, I have to turn up the speed on my “liquidation of my own estate” to help raise the funds for such an important trip. I plan to get there in time for Acharya Yogi Lama Gursam Rinpoche giving Medicine Buddha empowerment and teachings. I'll stay long enough to attend teachings and empowerments from His Eminence Garchen Triptul Rinpoche. For these teachings and empowerments in addition to my room and board, I'll have to seek “work-study” opportunities. I never have much money to give, but I can give myself and my skills. In between special events, I'll be part of the daily life at Drikung Katsel Ngedon Tharpa Cho Ling and hopefully get the kind of advice that I need.
Although I haven't received the “official” word from the oncologist, I'm going to accept the evidence of the two PSA tests added to the absence of all prostate symptoms. There is no reason not to believe that we have gotten all of the tumor with the radiation. Furthermore, the lemongrass tea, reishi mushroom and miso broth and other alternative healing regimens may have helped in its effectiveness. On the other hand, I may even start wearing my “I survived cancer” t-shirt. More importantly, one day this week I will drive to the Thai Buddhist temple in Kissimmee as a pilgrimage to the shrines. This time I will circumambulate each one twenty-one times, make twenty-one prostrations in each and chant the mantra 108 times before and after the circumambulation. My strength has returned to sufficient extent that this is not an overly ambitious plan, although I am not fully recovered yet.
In all of this and all that I have yet to do, I am not only to benefit myself by my efforts but also to work for the benefit of all sentient beings. My Karma has put me on the present path of my Journey through Cancer, but it has also made it the opportunity to benefit others by this experience. Indeed all the experiences of this lifetime and all previous rebirths are not only part of my path to enlightenment but also to benefit all beings.