On the weekend after the colonoscopy, I wound up camping out at a pagan festival called “Harvest Rhythm” at All World Acres near Plant City. Since my sister and I are sharing the same van and she is not a “night owl” like I am, it only made sense that I would set up a tent even though my house is such a short distance away. On Friday, I had trouble having sufficient energy and stamina to help her get both her book selling booth and my own camp set up. However, I did manage to do this and took a “power nap” because I was looking forward to a Native American type sweat lodge for which I would tend the fire, albeit with help. As it turned out, the water pourer decided that there would be far too little interest in the lodge considering the unseasonably hot day we were having. Instead he led a pipe ceremony which was something in which I had never participated other than within the Cherokee tradition.
During the afternoon and evening it seemed that fewer people were arriving than in previous years. Perhaps the economic difficulties that so many people are experiencing may be keeping them away despite the fact that the fees for this event are low enough that it is a very inexpensive family outing. Furthermore, there are so few places for Pagan to go to freely worship according to their own traditions.
Considering the cauterizing that was done during my colonoscopy, I was most pleased that there was no bleeding during that whole day, Friday. I had a lot to get done which would have made any bleeding a real nuisance, at best. However, in the predawn hours of Saturday morning I awoke and felt the need to hurry to the bathhouse only to discover that I had bled into my undershorts. Thankfully, I had not bled through into my pants. As I started to write this I was wearing an incontinence pad the wrong way around to catch any future bleeding. Nevertheless, I am most grateful for the break that I had from the bleeding and still can hope that it still will be less in the future than it has been in the past.
When I reflect on the disappointment that I felt when I saw the blood that morning, I realize that it results from another form of attachment. We usually think of attachment only in terms of attachment to people or things, but not in terms of attachment to concepts. Nevertheless, I had formed the concept of an expectation of things continuing as they had been on Friday. However, we know that all things change and nothing is constant. Therefore, I may hope that there won't be any more bleeding after the work done during my colonoscopy, but I should not form an attachment to that particular outcome. Rather, I should keep myself open to whatever actually happens and adapt to the circumstances that I encounter.
As it has actually developed, there has been sufficient bleeding that I should call the GI Procedures Clinic on their next business day, Tuesday. While I don't believe that it is enough to warrant a trip to the ER, I believe that I should contact the clinic to move up the appointment for my sigmoidoscopy. I believe that the remaining areas that needed to be cauterized should be treated sooner rather than later. The healing of the sites might tax my system, but I doubt that it would be much worse than coping with the continued bleeding. In fact, I believe that this is necessary for me to fully recover from the radiation treatments that I underwent in December and January. In any case, I adjust to what is and adapt to my actual circumstances as best I can.
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