Journey Through Cancer – Chapter 11 – Side Effects

With any course of treatment there are inevitably side effects. Even good old aspirin has them, longer clotting times. With some medications they seem worse than the illness that they treat. With others the side effects, however unpleasant, are preferable to the consequences of not accepting treatment. Cancer treatments are notorious for their side effects. Beam radiation has its set, but less than most of the chemotherapy drugs.
In my last blog post I said I didn't know whether I was already experiencing the first of them after only two treatments. Although those symptoms were the result of nerves, I now actually have the first of them, skin irritation and nausea. The skin through which the beams pass feels like I've had a little too much sun, but not quite a full sunburn. The skin is hot to the touch, tight and irritated. The only symptom to sun exposure lacking is redness. These areas are still as pale as ever since they never see the sun. I am going to place tubes of the moisturizing cream that was prescribed anywhere that I might spend significant time as well as try to carry a tube with me. I won't risk allowing too long to go by without it. I need to keep from having too much trouble with my skin in order that these areas not become new flare up sites for psoriasis.
The nausea hit me after supper. Fortunately, I was able to enjoy a good meal before it started. While it is milder than it might have been, indeed might yet be, I am glad that I already bought the protein powder and keep milk and yogurt in the refrigerator. Tonight my protein “smoothie” was just my snack before taking my night time medications and practice for making them when they are essential nutrition. My only mistake was adding a little honey for sweetening, not realizing that the protein powder is already sweetened. That is a small error when considered against my readiness to make these when I really need them.
Additionally there may be some irritation to the lower gastrointestinal tract, although it could be an unrelated flare up of my hemorrhoids. My sister got me a “donut” cushion that I may start using if this persists. Right now I am getting by just trying to sit “lightly” on the edge of my chair.
All in all, I have to say that these side effects are not all that serious or that severe. For that, I am most grateful. While I understand from what I have read that they are likely to get more serious and more severe as I progress through my treatments, I have confidence that we can manage them.
Indirectly a side effect, my arthritis is worse today, as I work out just how much prednisone is required to treat it. Taking it every other day doesn't work. Now I'll step up to a single pill each day. In addition, I have to be very faithful in taking my Lasix every day to prevent prednisone's common side effect of water retention. Having that could adversely affect my treatments either through reducing their effectiveness or through causing healthy tissues to be exposed to too much radiation. Furthermore, I have to take the Lasix around supper time in order that I not have trouble getting to a bathroom while its activity peaks and also to not have it send me to the bathroom at night more often than I do already. This is just one more of the adjustments that I have had to make or may yet have to make before this journey ends with a cancer-free state.
These are a few of the considerations at this stage in this process. Although I am sure there will be other concerns as time goes on, I trust I will handle them with the support system I already have. Furthermore, the spiritual support of my vajra brothers and sisters as well as my root lama will strengthen me to use the practical tools that I have at my disposal. Moreover, they will help me keep in mind both the karmic origin of my situation and its benefit to others.
Although I'm feeling rather poorly right now, I hope that when I get up in the morning I'll have the energy to start back on my project of “liquidating my own estate.” Even though the VA is giving me travel pay for all my appointments, it, together with my pension, still won't cover the additional expenses I'm likely to incur. For example, sometimes when I have more appointments than just the treatment session, I'll need to eat out. However, this is not just a practical activity, but rather a spiritual exercise in identifying and overcoming attachments. Alternatively, if I'm not up to doing something that physical, I can sew a few items for my sister to sell at a pagan festival or for the Dharma Center to sell to raise funds. I can take $20 worth of fabric to make $120 worth of merchandise, more than I could afford to donate. Furthermore, the action of sewing things for my vajra brothers and sisters to use and the act of donating them is a spiritual activity. If what I make aids them in spiritual practice, it benefits me, them and all sentient beings.