Journey Through Cancer – Chapter 14 – Unexpected Turns

Wednesday, I got to the VA as usual for my scheduled radiation therapy session, but, as I all too often do, I was experiencing a little lightheadedness and unsteadiness as I got out of my truck. I just thought that this was a little problem of low blood pressure because I take so many meds that affect it and can seriously lower it when I take them to close together. I assumed that it would pass as it often does.
I went on to my radiation session and then collected my travel pay. However, when I was heading back to my truck, I realized that I was still feeling the same unsteadiness and wobbliness. At that point I decided that I should go back to RTU to get one of the nurses to check my blood pressure. To my surprise, it was normal. I then considered that the feeling might also have been caused by high blood sugar. The nurse to me to the ER to have that checked, which turned out to be perfectly normal.
The nurses decided that this needed follow up and I was admitted to the ER. The ER physician called in a Neurology consult. When the neurologist's work up did not detect anything, she decided that I should be admitted to the hospital “overnight” for “observation” and testing.
“Overnight” stretched into three days with me wearing a heart monitor and going to test after test. I managed to still get my radiation treatments among all the tests. Since the symptoms that got me admitted were soon long gone, all of the testing has served to tell what is alright with me. With the time that I spent as an inpatient, I did get to share my Buddhist perspectives on my present circumstances and on life in general.
Finally, I was discharged from the hospital on Saturday with just enough time to get a short nap, have a bite of supper, and then drive with my sister to a witchy friend's Solstice celebration. Besides being in the general form of a ritual in the reclaiming tradition of Witchcraft as taught by Starhawk, it was specifically directed toward getting rid of something negative and seeking to receive something else positive in its place. Of course, it began with the usual preliminaries. I asperged everyone with water using a sprig of rosemary which I gave to each person as a remembrance of what we did. This was followed by calling the quarters and casting the circle and summoning deities. I called on Quan Yin, because this was particularly appropriate for me. Then we came to the “magical working” with a fire lit in the cauldron. As we chanted, “Dark of the year, wheel is turning. Dark of the moon, open up your heart. Dark of our lives, what we envision will come to be with the new born light,” our friend went to each of us in turn. She asked us what we wanted to give up. I said, “Disease.” I thought not only of myself, but also of my friend, Liz, who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer.
A second time she went around the group as we chanted “Dark of the year, wheel is turning. Dark of the moon, open up your heart. Dark of our lives, what we envision will come to be with the new born light.” This time she asked us what we wanted new in our lives. I said , “Life.” Again I thought not only of myself, but also of my friend, Liz.
Thistle commented that the last time my sister and I attended on of her rituals the handle of her cauldron burned off and this time it did too. For myself, I noticed that unlike my last time at a fire circle when I could not get warm, this time I was definitely absorbing energy from the fire. Although others had needed to put on jackets, I was still comfortable in my T-shirt.
After we had sent out the healing energy, dismissed the quarters and the deities and open the circle we went inside and “grounded” ourselves with food. We also got the chance to socialize and continue the process of getting acquainted that began before the ritual. In this situation, I did get to express my view that my present journey is not only for myself but for the benefit of others as well.